Though there's no need of explanation i am conscientiously aware i haven't penned, painted, or posted anything here for the previous two months. That's in the context of having sustained constant monthly creative input to this blog for around six years. While i doubt that anyone noticed absence of posts, i've been meaning to clarify and say i'm still here and haven't gone anywhere.
However, if anyone may have wondered, i wasn't on holiday, quite otherwise. During an unusually cold and snowy month of March i was promptly taken into the hospital for almost three weeks with pneumonia. With a tube into my lung the whole of that time draining more than three and a half litres of infected liquid. Now it's cleared and i've been back at home for a few weeks, recuperating though relatively active hopefully reorienting from a traumatic experience.
I also instantly quit smoking just three months ago due to the urgent necessity of the situation after having smoked for sixty years. Lost nearly two stone in weight in the hospital and found the food terrible, went without tea or coffee for three weeks as i don't drink fluoridated tap water. Regaining weight gradually now but with a confusing relationship with food and appetite. Unsurprisingly it's taking a while for me to rediscover where my source of creative inspiration is at for these as well as other reasons.
In the meantime, i really am hoping to regain the motivation to resume painting and well aware that tobacco withdrawals is a factor affecting the flow. Sensitive inspiration is very vulnerable to the awareness of the harshnesses and repetition etc. of the human world. Something that i am lately finding elusive to adequately articulate in the way i mean and writing this is an attempt to remedy somewhat or at least address it. Being just an informal blog update for now whereas i mostly like to have a new painting to share.
Actually i've never known what i might create next or what's conceivable, but my standards of what's adequate to motivate seem to be more challenging so it's hard to do what i've done before, along with what does it all mean and what to do with it, as well as what to do if it doesn't happen. But if something happens i'll be glad to share it here. Meanwhile there are more than six years worth of paintings interspersed through the archives of this site. It's a bit like a diary except you're more than welcome to look. ~
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Martin Rainbowmaker
